I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
