Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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