So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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