lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
