what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
