You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
