He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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