Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
