Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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