I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
