at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Dear god my vagina.
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