i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
