I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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