Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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