i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
