i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
