I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
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It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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