I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
