I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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