Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
