my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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