ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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