Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
