I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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