Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize