Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
