recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
