you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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