You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
