Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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