if only i could text you this smell
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
