I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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