so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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