Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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