it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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