The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she smelled like a LAN party
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
