He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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