Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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