Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize