That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
