You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
