so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
