I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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