K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
