i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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