Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
