why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
