ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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