I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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