I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
