i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
