Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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