a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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