North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
