alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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